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| Hey baldy! | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 26 2007, 06:55 AM (680 Views) | |
| Post #1 Oct 26 2007, 06:55 AM |
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Because of my presentation, I took the day off from work and had lunch with my son yesterday. At the lunch table, one kid asked me why I don't have any hair. I said, "Because I'm old!" He then points at me and says, "You're bald!" How would you have handled that situtation? What if I were an obese person and the little kid said, "Hey, you're really fat!" |
Civilian
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| Post #2 Oct 26 2007, 07:35 AM |
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If it is your own child, a child you spend a good deal of time with or one you teach, here is a link to the method I found helpful - this particular version is called "rude dude". Children are brutally honest. Telling them how you feel will help them understand what effect their words have. Of course, hopefully you will not have the chance because by then one would hope the parent or teacher would have stepped in. However, this does raise the issue of if we are trying to have a world that accepts people of all sizeds, shapes, colors, faiths, with or without handicap etc, then perhaps we shouldn't be telling them it is rude to disuss these things (inherently doesn't that say being short or fat is bad - something not to be discussed). But we don't live in that world anyway, so I'll stick to rude dude and curtesy kid lessons. |
Civil Servant
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| Post #3 Oct 26 2007, 11:08 AM |
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Ah yes, the innocent age of seven. We have a neighbor who is so morbidly obese that she cannot walk and uses a motorized cart to get around. One day while she was outside (she had been shopping at garage sales around out neighborhood) she came over to say hi. My son (at about 6 years old at the time) asked her why she was so fat. (red blushing embarrassed smiley needed here) Later on the phone, I apologized and she was so gracious and said she wasn't offended, that she is perfectly aware of her size, and that he was just making an observation as kids will do. I of course had the conversation with my son that talking about people's weight was off limits and that even though she is fat we will treat her with respect. Over the years since I have had more lengthy conversations with him about weight and its affects on the body, and how it is a sensitive subject with many people. That kid's parents probably just haven't had the "wake up call" yet, such as I had, where they are with their kid when he says something out of line that totally embarrasses them. We can only hope that they will take that as their cue that it is about time that they talk to him about certain manners as well as point out how people are different and that we need to treat them with respect despite their differences. Yes, kids need to be taught about these principles. They rarely come naturally. If they aren't taught, the kid may turn out to be one of those mean nasty bully kids that taunt the oddball kid on the playground. BTW, CT, was this what you were talking about? http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0ST...105/ai_17770744 Oh, as to how would I have handled it, I would have ignored the kid. |
Civilian
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| Post #4 Oct 26 2007, 12:57 PM |
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Yes, I guess I forgot to actually type the link. Nikki, thanks for catching that.
:) I am glad your neighbor responded with an awareness that the child meant no insult. |
Civil Servant
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| Post #5 Oct 26 2007, 08:03 PM |
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I would have spoken honestly with the kid and then also taught him/her about manners. Kids will be kids and they are very honest with their speaking, but that gives them no right to offend others. Whether you knew this kid or not, you had a right and a responsibility to educate the kid on how to be tactful. A lot of parents aren't teaching their kids these social graces and I think us adults must jump in as necessary. |
Civil Servant
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| Post #6 Oct 26 2007, 08:21 PM |
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| The kid was a classmate of my son who is in Kindergarten. Would that have an effect on your position? Why do you feel that I am responsible for "correcting" this kid's actions? |
Civilian
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| Post #7 Oct 26 2007, 09:02 PM |
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I don't feel you are "responsible for correcting" this kid. I think it is the responsibility for each adult to teach kids manners. As I said, most aren't learning manners at home, so a responsible adult should. I'm giving you credit for being a responsible adult - it's a compliment. And yes, I do believe a 5 or 6 year old kid can understand what is polite and not polite to say to adults. |
Civil Servant
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| Post #8 Oct 26 2007, 10:42 PM |
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I understand what you are saying, Goofball. The only thing is that I have found in my experience that such attempts are futile. Children are more greatly influenced by their parents and their peers, and someone whom the child has never met before is not likely to make much of an impact on the child's behavior. Upon thinking about this a little further, I might have said something like, "What, you've never seen a bald head before?" It might have made the child laugh a little and diffused any tension before proceeding. I might have then said, "What if YOU had a bald head? What would you think about that? Can I have some of your hair?" Leading the child to put himself in someone else's shoes might help the child to see his way to some degree of compassion. I have had some experience with trying to influence the behavior of my son's friends. I finally came to realize that it was futile, and that I could only enforce certain behaviors while they were in my home. |
Civilian
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| Post #9 Oct 27 2007, 03:28 AM |
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At least you didn't do what Elisha did, and sick a couple of bears on the kid! ;-) I always found that account interesting... (2 Kings 2:23-24) |
Civilian
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| Post #10 Oct 27 2007, 08:54 AM |
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Nikki, Thank you for getting my point. And I really like your example - that is similar to what I would have done. I remember being corrected by adults other than my parents - it stuck with me. So I give each and every kid the benefit of the doubt, that what I saw will guide them down the right path. Maybe I'll never see it. But my hope is that my voice is in their head. If I didn't have that hope, I wouldn't be able to be around kids. And I like kids too much to give up on them. Here's what I did with the neighbor boy a couple of weeks ago. I don't even know this kids name, but I've seen him around. He knocked on my front door to get his football out of my backyard. OK, I'll meet you around back and let you in. When I got the gate opened I noticed he was outside playing in his socks. So I just asked: Does your mommy let you play outside in your socks? He said she did. I haven't seen him outside playing in his socks anymore. It wasn't a big deal. But I think I made an impact with this kid. And if I didn't so what. Or the next time his mom says, why are there holes in his socks, maybe my question will run through his head and he'll stop. Not only for his feets safety but also for his mother not having to buy new socks every few weeks. |
Civil Servant
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