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| Back to school; Hallalujah! | |
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| Topic Started: Aug 6 2007, 03:07 PM (788 Views) | |
| Post #21 Sep 6 2007, 10:10 PM | hamsters |
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Well, I have some advise you probably won't like which is how I handled my son and his friends during visits to our house: no computer at all. In fact, we had friends visiting from out of town and the kid brought his portable gaming thing to use here connected to my computer and I said 'no'. I guess I've always been sensitive because my computer is used for business (and personal) and I have never wanted any virus or other problems. My son has always known the rules and obeyed them. I have been very strict with both computer use and friends. If a friends acted that way (used the computer without permission) or to watch inappropriate shows) they weren't invited back nor could my son go to their house. I do have to say that around 5th-6th grade that my son was introduced to all kinds of stuff via friends. He is an only child so no older sib's to taint the waters here. My friend who visited with the kid and the game thing has all kinds of issues with her son. He is totally unmotivated other than that he wants to play these games all day long. She was shocked to find out that my son who will be 15 in Feb. (until about 4-months ago) was only allowed to use the computer after I logged him on. I want to know how long he is on for and where he is going. He sat right next to me so I could potentially see all. He has no personal email account. All email comes to my computer account via his own user name. My friend was worried about her son's computer use, but not willing to lock him off. I can't figure out good people who aren't careful parents. I can rant and rave all day about this stuff and what I have seen. Now, I'm not perfect, but I'm about the only parent who insists on meeting parents of my son's friends before he hangs out at their homes. This isn't full-proof, but at least everyone knows I'm watching. I have to say that one big thing right now is my almost 15-yr old is definately surly mouthed to us parents. He vasilates between being so wonderful and appropriate to a real 'leave me alone' type of attitude. While I let it go, my husband gets hurt and can't quite get used to letting him be. He expect an always perfect attitude. My son has always been a 'pleasure' elsewhere as I'm always told, but not home there is room for a lot of improvement. I guess it's best that he use that attitude stuff with us and be appropriate elsewhere. Sorry for the long rant. |
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| Post #22 Sep 6 2007, 11:03 PM |
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Hamsters, I think your son is just going thru some hormonal changes and also testing the limits. I also agree, if they are going to be rude, it should be at home and not in front of others. Home is the place to learn about proper social manners. And society can be very harsh. At home the kid always has loving arms to fall in to. I wasn't taught something at home, and was completely embarrassed when I learned it at my job when I was 19. |
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| Post #23 Sep 7 2007, 06:05 AM |
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Hamsters, I am the type of person who accepts honest input. Thanks for your frank words.
B) I do have the computer in the dining room so that I can see everything that goes on. Normally my son goes on the Internet only to find cheat codes for games and to watch Guitar Hero music videos on You Tube-- people post videos of their game play. This friend B has introduced my son to some new stuff before, but he hasn't been very receptive (thank goodness.) He said he didn't think South Park was funny, although they only got to watch it for a few minutes. (I was down in the basement cleaning,) As of yet my son doesn't have email or myspace or any of that. The only thing I have allowed him to have is a free Club Penguin account. I have explained to him that there are predators online who pretend to be any age they want to in order to make friends with kids and eventually meet up with them, and so on... We have also talked about all kinds of other evils of society, like sex outside of marriage, drugs, STD's, etc.) I know I will need to remind him of some of these discussions some times down the road. But as of now he has been doing a pretty good job of not being told by his friends what to do. He says some of his friends at school tell him that he "should" get a myspace account, but that he knows that I will say no, and he knows why. |
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| Post #24 Sep 7 2007, 12:50 PM | hamsters |
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Nikki0903, Sounds like you are right on the target with everything. My son always gets frustrated with us because he knows we're just going to say "no' to stuff his friends have/or do. We have let him have a lot more freedom this past year but it all comes with consequences: doing good means you get good (and vice versa). We still have our share of issues because our son is not a follower and likes to set his own path (see earlier thread about how he went out and got his own job). But he knows we are watching and he also see how other parents don't watch. He likes the freedom those kids have, but he also questions the parenting going on. Keep up on the great work. |
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| Post #25 Sep 7 2007, 12:54 PM |
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| Ditto to you, too! B) |
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2:28 PM Feb 7